Day 20: A song that I listen to when you’re angry - All That I've got

Yeeeaaahh... \m/





Have a great day everyone!

Song of the Day: Break Even

Hello! I'm still alive but barely breathing... (-__-) Seriously, I am not really into this singing out load because I can sing but I don't think you want to hear that. LOL. Ang just like other blogs / bloggers, just to have a new post, posting their "song of the day" will saves the day! :) So here's the song keeps playing in my head. ♪♫ Music mode.

What I've been singing lately is this song Falling Into Pieces. Wala lang!






"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you, and
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces yeah
I'm falling to pieces"

Have a good day people! 

Someday It's Gonna Make Sense

I just browsed my favorite websites and some other blogs when I found this:

"It doesn't make sense to let go of something you had for so long. But it also doesn't make sense to hold on when

THERE'S ACTUALLY NOTHING THERE. "

Alright, I admit, this is OUCH! Is that a sign or what? If I really didn't get it, you know what am I: A FOOL. 

 

Should I hang on or I shall let him go?

For Real

If ever...

 

*Deep sigh. SMH. =|

Now That It's All Said and Done

Hello! I'm not good right now. :( Why we have to experience heartbreaks? or heartaches? This is not the feeling I don't want to feel or experience. So, four years ago, when I started to commit or enter a relationship, I told myself to be good and no lies, cheats and etc that can affect to our relationship. But what happened? 

It was all started with one HELLO! and how could it end it like this? 

I chose to leave.

I asked for time and space.

He asked for last chance. 

I made a solution. (Because things were not the same as before)

He agreed.

We agreed.

We had an agreement. 

But it was only our first day with our plan.

I'm hoping for a better outcome but it wasn't good. I just thinking that he was just missing me. But NO. 

His text messages gets worst. More harsh than his previous messages. He doesn't care at all. If I get hurt or what. 

All I know is that he is out of patience waiting for me to come back. 

How could he asked for a second chance if he can't wait, exert effort and have patience? 

How could he be so rude to send text messages and think of bad deeds about me?

I guess, things are not way it used to be. He's not sweet anymore. He changed and So I am. We don't know each other anymore. I think going back as being strangers is what we have to do.

Moving on and move forward is not easy, we all have to pause, cry and feel the pain then after play again so life goes on. I can always look back to the stupid things I did and how fool I was and learned from it.

I know there's someone out there for me. I will not going to find that person. He will find me. :) See you! whoever you are. 

Still sad about what's happening in my life right now. :'(

Good vibes please! Good vibes! 

It's time to face the truth that we are not meant to be. :(

What I Feel

Spamming or posting photos to show how I feel right now. I've been staring on my monitor for 30 minutes already and I don't know what to type. Plus this blog of mine has been not updated for quiet some time. So there you go... =|

 

That's all for now... =| I feel so sad right now. :(((((

Takes A Litttle or More Time To

We'll see because I can't promise that. I will do it at my best rather. :) :\

Bad Hair Day

Was super sleepy the whole day. Plus my hair bothers me and annoys me. I had my haircut last week and it was the worst decision I have done in my life so far! I honestly don't like my haircut. So I am thinking to have cellophane treatment for my hair to get it back to straight and shiny hair not like this wavy hair cut that I did not asked for. UGH!!! I hate it when you have no time to go to your favorite salon and all you have to do is to get out at lunch break and get a haircut to some random unknown salon outside your office.

I was happy when he told me, yes.. HE told me (the owner of the salon) that my haircut would be better if I will also go for an Hot Oil, which is sounds good at first and when we were almost done, he didn't finished my hair dry with blower because there are lots of costumers waiting for their turn. And I have to go back to the office because lunch break is almost over. So, yeah, I didn't had time to check my hair so when I got back to the office I was like = [NOT ]SO HAPPY with the results and follows the next day, next day, I was hoping this will get okay the next day but it became worst and worst!

So, I have to save moolah from my daily allowance, for the budget of cellophane hair treatment thing or thinking to cut this long hair below my shoulders so everything will be back to normal but I don't want to regret again.

Good luck to me with this. As of the moment, I used coconut oil for my hair at it sucks big time because I put too much this morning before I take bath. And now it looks like wet... wet look hair huh? always fresh so I decided to tie it up so it will not bothers me when I look to the mirror.


Deep sigh! I have so many things to buy these days because I did not shop last month for my monthly consumptions. hahaha! I used my reserved items for that (its a girl thing) and I don't want my cabinet to be empty so tomorrow I have to do my "what to buy list" so I could do the math and save my budget for my f^&&* cellophane hair treatment. and yeah thanks to that f*(^&^& salon near in the office. It was a nightmare!! BOO! >.<

Year Three ©

I'm staring outside the window. Loving the heat of the sun and how it hurts my eyes. Thinking of so many things. Seeing birds flying makes me want to fly. Fly..fly..fly.. So high that I will get out myself from this situation that I'm fighting for every year. This is the third year of the same situation happens every this season.

First year was not okay to the highest full of level.

Second year was moderate, kinda alright to me but kinda not fine with me.

Now, third year is fucking perfect to leave any time. I can leave perfectly because I'm used to it. The feeling that I'm okay outside but deep inside there's so much pain I feel inside that I can even dig a big hole that even if I bury myself inside I can still feel the fucking pain.

All these years, there still one thing that remains, whenever I feel alright to something, I just can't erase the fact that I loved the person so much more than myself and the pain of that thought kills me because I want to have revenge that leads me to imagine killing the person who is the root of all these mess.

I guess, I can't just do that all by myself. Maybe leaving with nothing to say is better than cry in front of that person and show that it's fucking hurt and you win.

Better to leave with a smile. Maybe Its hurt but yeah I'm used to it. Happy outside but hurt inside. 

P.S. I know this is useless and cannot change anything that already happened. 

Have a great day everyone. 

Jool ©

HEARTBEAT ♥

Damn.

After a good laughed last night. Today was so freaking sad. My heartbeat so fast! I hardly catch my breath.

Most specially when the special person said something to you that you don't know how to handle it. If you will cry or get fine with it. Yeah. I'm good. I mean, I am used to it. When that person always says something not good to me. I mean why he can't say that he is jealous of what I am doing? Oh man! There is no wrong about that.

Chocolate Day

It's not new for me: eating chocolates. Yeah. I love chocolates. And because of chocolates he ruined our conversation. Urgh. He ruined my mood. X( 

Sooo bad.


XO,♥